(Recipe) Cauliflower faux mash

Cauliflower faux mash

<insert long winded childhood foodie love / fantasy / crush / salivating food-porn story here>.

This recipe was entirely an “accident”, as I experimented alternative ways on how to make cauliflower flat bread without buying additional ten dollars worth of elitist flours and ingredients. I went on to trying what would happen from frying a blended cauliflower + xanthan gum + water 1:1 ratio…

….and here it is. Low carb faux potato mash. Humility budget approved.

Ingredients & Pricing

Only three things. 150g Cauliflower.  Water. And Xanthan Gum. Makes one serve.

If you are one of those people who never visited any non-conglomerate branded fruit & veg shops; time to face your own elitist embarrasment. The lowest ever I recorded buying was 1/2 head of cauliflower at 29 cents each. However good news is that average pricing ranges between $1 to $1.50. Seasonally speaking – the pricing does not wildly fluctutates that much throughout the year.

The only most expensive investment out of this is Xanthan Gum. At $6.50 at Kakulas® sisters or any of your local health & wellness store – I guarantee you will not run out of this anytime soon.

My 500g $20 supply (crazily expensive I know but that’s the only brand available in my area) is still lasting for close to one and half years.

Total Initial Purchasing Investment for this recipe is $7 to $8 depending on how resourceful you are in scouting various alternative fruit & veg shops.


Rice your 150g cauliflower.

I’m using my trusty $20 Target® mini food processor. My years of history with this processor have not changed. Despite its clunkiness; as I have to literally shake the whole unit to help process the bigger bits altogether nonetheless gets the job done.

Prep the blender and blend 150g worth of the (riced) cauliflower with 150ml water (1:1 ratio). Add up to 1/2 tsp of Xanthan Gum, this amount may vary to the thickness of your liking, I find 1/3 to 1/2 tsp is suffice to thicken the entire mix. Let it blend for up to a full minute and let it stand for another minute.

Recalling from my prior history of protein fluff making/s – Xanthan Gum takes time to “sludge” up, but it takes no more than a minute for it to fully settle down.

Get your frying pan with light spray non-stick cooking spray.

Pour in everthing into the pan. Do not stir. let it bubble up on low-medium heat for about two full minutes.

Once you’ve noticed the amount of liquid have dried up to almost half of the contents, then it’s all ready.

Add olive oils, parsley and garlic salt. Done.

Good to know that even when stored in the fridge for some time this does not give off that familiar cauliflower “stench”. Pair it with your beef tri-tip (simply cook that in the oven @ 170 deg for 30 minutes for medium-rare, my preference). World Peace.


This one is easy, I’d follow raw weight version because that essentially is what you use up with. 150g nets 7g of total carbs but 3g off that is fibre.

There you have it folks, enjoy and discuss your thoughts in the comments below!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *