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Ten years ago, on 31st of December at 11:45 PM, when everyone was partying elsewhere, caring less about new year's resolutions ~ I placed my very first, physical printed book on order for what was back then the former brand and title of this initiative. Humility through frugality.

Looking back, here and now, I am sharing a little perspective or two. Here as summary, and the next as ten lessons in retrospect.

I should forewarn, that this initiative represents my views and opinions on how I myself respond, reflect and cope with challenges as they come and go.

As a result, people may view these as contrarian for narcissism sake. But I hope the message throughout all these years remains distillable ~ that I am simply human.

Wish you all well, and here's (hopefully) for another five years check point.

Live-It-Forward,

AW

Summary

I must admit I don't speak highly of myself. Part of the reason: much of the work I have done here, is still messy and incomplete.

I believe it is instead best diverting my energy to be as objective as possible at looking back, bleak or not, over the last ten years. And let readers piece together what they can (or cannot) think of the reasons why.

Let's begin with some context and history.

1/4
The very first beginnings. What started all this.  2014-2016.

As far as coping within themes between money and health - I could stop right there. Partly because people these days (back then also) ~ expects monumental "rags to riches" story. This, was unlikely to be one of them.

All self-help / influencer channels starts from attempts at improving - their own selve(s). Then proclaiming their experience(s) as (in some way shape or form) a share-able wisdom.

NOT to paint any one criticism here. Mine was no different. But quite understated, surrounding finances and mental health, first and foremost. 

I was prepared and still is to this day, be judged by my circumstances as "normal". But it saddens me that people don't seem to tolerate the "middle class" of any personal or historic struggles that are not "pathological" or not "severe" enough in their's eyes.

Sure, I had legitimate reasons surrounding mindfulness with humble eating. Then with the sample way of eating plans. But that as utility soon wears off as just yet another pity soap opera. And sooner or later. ~ my credibility also then gets questioned, considering my industry's bread and butter is polar opposite*.

*People love pigeon-holing based on job titles. If they find your LinkedIN®  "hobbies" does not align to their's or societal common interests - eg. "seeing the world", "outings", "travelling", "crafts", "carpentry" on top of "upskilling" ,,,,then you'll probably be told at some stage to remove them. If you find this strange, perhaps consider your experience the exception than the  rule.

I could perhaps write something about the AS / Anyklosing Spondylitis considering the confirmed positive test that I do have a HLA-B27 following disc injury (L4/5/S1). But that, as I am thankful enough as it is, did not warrant their severity for me, at least not yet to warrant putting myself front and centre as a campaign. That would be grossly immoral to those who do have the legitimate progression of the disease.

If you ever find a vocation, activity or anything productive than your line of work, that for whatever reasons you just can't put into words, than feeling that this is somehow your "calling" - then you know what I'm talking about. You'd do whatever it takes, no matter how embarrassing, to do this anyway.

I decided, that amidst all these normalisation of "not poor" or "not bad enough", among others obviously need not naming or blaming - I kept on writing anyway.  What was mostly a series of articles (back when I had my Squarespace site), into a questions meet answers mini book.

Resulting towards my very first ~ hand-bound, laser printed pocket "draft" in 2015. A nightmare certainly from DIY perspective. And atrociously bad, writing wise. The only thing worth going through trial & error despite all the waste - was the heat transfer cover via lamination.

Then, believing I could do a "lot more". Why not push it further? So fast forward in 31st of December 2015, the first "full" 200 page book was, all of a sudden ~ in front of me.

Then throughout 2016-2020+ onwards - the revisions that followed what became today ~ the first rebrand and retitle from HTF to Nutritional Humility.

Still - the embarrasments coming from the writings, despite thousands of hours spent - remained unimproved.

"This would never have been passable.". "Nobody would read this.". Self doubt / impostor syndrome reels in.

I kept going rewriting and revising where and when opportunity allow back then anyway. Despite six years or so amidst my own job and careers crisis. Leading to my own depression and anxiety.

The official need for rebrand

In 2021 a sombre realisation emerged.

I realised that "eating well", within themes of frugality, whilst simultaneously challenging antiquated view(s) between science, and philosophy - were in many ways, conflicting with the communally shared notion of "Humility".

Hence, in 2021 I decided it'd be best to rebrand this entire initiative elsewhere more "progressive".  The tug-of-war, tribalism like mentality amongst dieting, nutrition circles could be at times a little much.

Hence I'd wager, the unspoken remaining undertone beneath every "health" or "fitness" success stories ~ lies in honouring the individuality in its pursuit.

Hence, as of 2023 onwards, I have decided to remove the downloadable book altogether from the main site.

And that as per history suggested was that. Still incomplete. Work in progress.

2/4
Things I hypothetically suggest. Where and how it's changed.

For context and reminder, much of the nutritional strategies throughout this channel revolves around Cyclical keto / Low carbohydrate with IF intermittent fasts. I implored this as destination. Not as starting point.

Some things I do occasionally suggest, broadly, just as examples among those who are just "starting point" ~ were typical in the likes of emphasising very high intake of fibres. But only temporarily to allow reflection on distension and input tolerance. Think mega salads. But also never to shy away from fats and gelatinous cuts of meats. Back in 2018, especially when I began intermittent fasting for the very first time - I asserted that carbohydrates would have been necessary for both psychogenic relief.

Among the key ones that I would pay attention, experienced dieters or not -  would be FODMAPs, fibre intakes, oxalates and more recently ~ foods high in Copper. Yes I suspect most would be aware of their topics, but perhaps one that obligate more attention would be copper particularly surrounding mental health.

Consider myself guilty, for I have on various occasions praised foods I thought as supportive. Avocados, spinach, dark chocolates, to name a few.

Pork shoulder and beef bones

3/5
My own nutrition at present.

If there is one thing I took for granted is Nutrigenomics. Most confusing aspect, but I feel worthwhile is trying to understand Methylation. The amount of knowledge handed to me was very significant. MTHFR and COMT, for instance both compelled me towards experiment exclusions surrounding foods overly glorified - chocolates/cacao and avocados only to name a few did, so far at my experience affect how I handled mental stress especially towards later end of 2025.

Food intolerances (FODMAPs) in varying agrees still matter. Xylitols and erithrytol in 99% of stevia products GUARANTEE gut pains and dissensions galore; throughout all fasting windows.

Plant based PUFA N3s aka flaxseeds do not sit well with me for reasons as I wrote in some occasions in the past Annual Food For Thoughts.

Fibre - as love and hate topic ~ have me neither convinced that less or more is better to me psychologically and physiologically. I would still likely continue periodising between none and low amounts. But not high. Why? fibre is one of those macronutrient, unlike carbs, proteins or even fats - that I felt any inclination of a "liking". That is, it is never something I've ever "missed".

So what remained consistent? Eggs and gelatinous cuts of meats shoulders, legs, etc. More importantly - heavy fluids too, from pressure cooking as I find dry(er) foods less satiating. I still enjoy simpler life surrounding microwaved minced meats. Sardines, thankfully remains as the most affordable source of marine PUFA N3, despite being recommended Krill Oil supplementation which I do not, readily justify their high price costs.

What about supplements? Gone are the days of micro specifics. Except - betaine HCL + pepsin, and few No-tropics - Gingko and ALCAR.  Meanwhile I still place heavy stocks on anything fat solubles. Vitamin D, E, K2 and COQ10. Minerals wise - on top of potassium chloride and magnesium flakes (I no longer think expensive chelates are worth it) - Zinc would be an insurance policy against excess copper.

4/5
Looking back on my feature videos

For context, I have been using a very unconventional, "third person" method when addressing myself in front of the camera as "This Author". Reason: my depression and anxiety (at the time) - coping via ways of deliberate identity disassociation. However I decided to no longer use this and resort to conventional first person instead. For more details, please read this article here. 

But, is there anything worth reflecting?  Yes. Though only very few.

"Utopia as Dystopia?" was my very first attempt at viral video essay in the hope to obtain additional views to my channel. As a follow up on the writing of 3-part Thoughts series on the Mouse Utopia / Universe 25 Experiment. 

This video ~ was all that I could ever wanted to inform the reader, as harsh and as (fittingly) objective realisation of the world. But on the flipside, I posited on things we can do, at least from nutrition perspective.

Perhaps cringe. Perhaps poorly produced. Or both. The three constant months- around-the-clock, no templates, all manually created motion graphics effects, transitions and effects.

Then, there's the three part expired foods guide. This was, I admit, an extremely draining series where I had to provide as many citations possible behind expired foods. Despite its own problems ~ the lighting / how I set up the scene for instance. I do apologise on this fact alone.

I could reflect on the more "usual" share(s) - frugal protein recommendations, day in the life(s) - including refeed days. But none as meaningful as what I made for in the hope that it can help someone one out there. That was, in actuality, a birthday present I am willing to do ~ sharing what I've learned.

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

5/5
On feature article side of things.

My thoughts on the Mouse Utopia / Universe 25 experiment, defenitely stood out. With so many rewritings for grammar and readability*, this was my first emotionally-charged and "raw" so-to-speak ~ thought disclosures.

223 / Two hundred and thirty two revisions (for Part one). 173 / One hundred and seventy-three  revisions (for Part two).

For the unacquainted - in late 1960s (very fittingly amidst rising cultural phenomenon(s) at the time ~ "Make room! Make room!" and "Soylent Green")  ~ John Calhoun,  a behavioural scientist working for National Mental Institute of Health (NIMH) at the time -  conducted a famous experiment to see the effects of overcrowding in as pragmatic timeframe as possible, which that of course necessitated animal models. Lasting between July 1968 to May 1973 -  he built a world where "perfectly" maintained climate, temperature, with absolute miracle/s of all - no predators, and unlimited food and water - the perfect and harmless world so to speak all were provided for mice ~ in a giant "apartment" complex.

So what I did I learn? A lot. There were so much I could reflect, but here I'm only providing three points.

Firstly, I believe it does correlate with many cultural niches of our times, mainly affecting men. MGTOW, Red Pill, Black Pill, Incels, "Rice-cels", "Gymcels" to name a few (before "looksmaxxing" exploded around late 2010s, and throughout **VID) . These, from my view are coping responses as one subsists within the predominant social system we have to date.

Next,  beyond fooling ourselves that unlimited resources can do us "good" is anything but "good". What is left as far as food and shelter is provided, is our own mentality and from thereonwards, how politics, hierarchy and tribalism ~ still has to be addressed with caution. Cults, religion, or just social belonging  and/or groups in general can do more, than just to merely "influence" or to compel a following.

Lastly? Is perhaps predictable, but contentious given just how much the study also reflect on sex. Suffice to say that being male and attracted to the attractive(s) of the opposite sex ~ all I could ever want to achieve in life was three things. Privacy, secularity, and autonomy to appreciate all that I simply, well, "appreciate".  I'd wager that it is our lack of empathy on the above movements as we see it - from MGTOWs to Incel movements; that we likely condemn, based on knee-jerk response only on the moral superficials ("You men need to grow up!"), rather acknowledging the involuntary challenges structuring these individuals from accessing those three things. Correlating from the experiment  ~ masculinity still is prevalent among our standards and/or "models" for success in society ~ appearance and vanity - sexual or not, included. I would not be surprised, if the naivety among the Beautiful Ones ~  is more than correlating enough why these movements existed.

Contentious indeed ~ but I have to end this just for now, for sake of decency.

So that - was my most significant write-up.

Next was my "thoughts on cooking". Perhaps uninteresting at first, but this was an attempt on sharing my own little philosophy, not borrowed from anyone ~ as a counter response, politely that is against eating "raw" - raw plant based or raw carnivore, which at the time was "in-vogue" among the alternative health sphere.

Then there was my personal, N=1 attempt at curating my own "meta-analysis", drawn and subjected towards my own circumstances and condition surrounding the potentially lifelong - Ankylosing Spondylitis.

This  led me to brief (but later forgettable,) obsessive research on Vitamin D then Vitamin A.  These led me to concentrated mini projects on their own, that I dubbed together as “Self-Meta”. That is - "Meta" as in Greek for "With", and together with "Self" - to metaphorize distillation of complexity, into one's own introspection.

I apologise however, that as much as I would like to learn the above feature has had to be discontinued. I could not spare additional mental fortitude, at least the time to patiently comprehend the nuances behind these subject matters.

Hence, there are times sadly one has to give up. Raise the white flag. Ego can only run so far, until it outruns you.

Conclusion (Part 1)

If anyone has not yet "get" the message, the last ten years have gone too quickly for me to prove just how much work it takes, for one to "find our own selves" amidst sea of indifferences.

I do not equate  "Self-help" as anything straightforward or dare I say - logical "program" or "course" to help steer life "around" a series of checklists.

Why am I so critical of myself? Perhaps intellectual jealousy one hand, among "influencers" who have had things "figured out". Even if I am not "good", by whatever standards or heuristics.

I have many things, I am extremely grateful of. That I have a roof over my head, alongside my job. To an outsider's eyes, I have it easy. Even though many things are quite shaky and/or uncertain.

Nevertheless, welcome to the Internet's least visited independent thoughts on nutrition, health and wellness.

Live-it-forward,

AW.