Anything that is "Inflammatory" is nevertheless ~ a signal yet to be interpreted.  Though in "What" contexts, from "whose" perspective, and "How" in terms of methodology ~ all these may yet "best" remain as an individual Self-Enquiry.  

DISCLAIMER
You are reading someone else’s in-depth account/s of nutritional & life intervention/s spanning across ONE YEAR; covering everything from nutrition, psychology, supplementation and fitness training. All intertwined into both socio-economical and self-scientific (explorative) perspective. This is NOT a light reading.

1 / 4

Coming to terms with the "What".
Paranoia + Apprehension = Total Loss of Self Authenticity.

Trip to memory lane ~ LDN. "Other" prescriptions not shown.

Recalling many years ago (before Keto), various unexplainable inflammations from gut all the way to the spine persisted weeks to months on end. Under several practitioners' convictions (back then when I was earning "comfortable" income) suspected me I had severe fibromyalgia. Then consequently ~ Anklyosing Spondilytis due to my genetic "BLA-27" propensity. I sincerely believed back then, my authenticity of "health" is in "good hands".

Consequently, we all knew what the "solutions" were. Nexiums, PPI inhibitors, Low Dose Naltrexones,  more "checkups" and and more "recorrections".

I feared that my life was no longer mine, authenticated. But to be instead "serviced" by someone else's. 

Yet many years later  living life completely against the grain, through all these years of self-experiments as frownful and appalling they may be ~ I no longer faced any of the above horrific pains besides my eventual L4/5/S1 degeneration. Each time this happens, my trust in N=1 self experimentation amounts greatly into surviving episodes I thought were not possible. CKD+IF 18 to 20 hours of fasting.  Alternate Day Fast + PSMF + <1500 per day starvation calories. Recently surpassing the lowest glucose reading in my own personal history ~ just shy off one figure point close to death (supposedly). All these ~ I felt - were over and done with.

This realisation taught me, despite I am no doctor nor "decorated" with abbreviations ~ that paranoia can indeed be forgotten or surpassed. Yet also somehow it remains indirectly reminding ~ at times most inconvenient, and/or unexpected.

Here is for "What's" ~ it's worth.

The body is a beautiful mosaic. Comprising of numerous self-compensatory "chaos" to withstand all biases of inputs. I'd call it homeostatic chaos. Whatever it does, it does so "reasonably" self-compensated.  Yet prescriptions are prescribed for a reason. Overriding everything else; for "just one" purpose only. Kill the culprit, and "stay" that way.

Let me first disclaim I am not entirely against "drugs". There are many, often masquerading as "supplements" that admittedly, though only in my own N=1 perspective years thus far ~ do remain essential to compensate the stress of IF, Keto, and/or CKD included.

• Betaine HCL+Pepsins? Unavoidaby important.  The very first saving grace since my early years of SKD; as digestif support.
• ALCAR - more than just a nootropic.  Without this I'd be giving up everything. 
• PDE-5 inhibitors ~ interestingly for more than just erections (read 3/4 through the paper).
• Aspirin? Way too long to list.
• LDN / Low Dose Naltrexone - what I was prescribed for chronic pain - was hailed for other potentials still undocumented. In summary as  I recall only on brief experiences - I felt weak and sleepy upon supplementing. Yet soon after wards (usually accompanied by more sleep or afternoon naps) ~ I felt "renewed" in ways I could never explain. Staying true to my own credence alas and primarily due to their exorbitant prescription costs ~ I discontinued these altogether. 

The above list is of course ~ not exhaustive.

Were I to be prescribed statins "just for cholesterol" alone, I'd have to introduce more chaos ~ into my own existing homeostatic chaos. Reduction in Vitamin K2 synthesis and reduction of glutathione activity, and increased risk for atherosclerosis. How ironic. Then the impairments on endogenous COQ10 (here and here). Then a "list" of other side effects. "Increased Blood Sugar", "Muscle-Damage", "Memory Loss" to name a few. How very interesting. Treating just "one" (1) marker yet the bodily response to this guilty diagnosis ~ only give out more repercussions.

So, for "what's" it's worth ~ is it worth living a life full of these side effects? Just to appease one (1) objective criteria of "reducing cholesterol".

My pragmatism says no.

I-screen®, the private pathology provider themselves admit that over 50% of CVD diagnosed cases have "normal" cholesterol. No, that isn't a made up figure. Go see it yourself (unless they changed the web copy for "marketing" reasons). Here's another proclaiming the same thing.

Journal after journal, paper after paper ~ there seems to be no ending to the subjectivities surrounding "cholesterol". Low amounts of it appears in suicides, depression, immune frailty (yes, including COVID19, here's another journal). And get this ~ all risk for death itself.  Let's not forget links to longevity with higher LDL-C.

So, the great question begs to be answered. To what degree or extent ~ shall we surrender our bodies as dolls ~ to whoever else pulling the strings? 

2/4

"Who" - does "one" needs to believe? The cautions of translating the "How" from "Who".

Going back to the above claim and were we to take the above 50% chances as takeaway scientific gospel. 50/50 chance of dying either from high or low cholesterol. Oh dear. Even the supposedly "best" of "the best" academia still cannot speak on behalf of "all" humanity.

"Health" is an ambiguous Utopia. Low cholesterol may escape one from heart attack. But cancer? Debateable.  Fate is one (1) interpretation. Yet coercions? Many interpretation(s).

So this leads to the next proposal for "coming to terms" - with The "Who" in all scientific enquiring. Using others as physiological "base" may be too limited as just that ~ an "inspiration". I would caution this not to blind anyone over their own homeostatic chaos. Or falling victim towards Survivorship Bias.

" Physicians should not assume that "physically fit" marathon runners cannot have serious, life-threatening cardiac disease." ~Noakes, DT 1987

James F. Fixx~ the proclaimed "father" of endurance running, died of massive heart attack. No, he's not "the only one". Research remains plenty on this topic alone.  Nathan Pritikin ~ A proponent of ultra low 10% fat diet, slashed his wrist  and died aged 69. From (total) cholesterol reading of 280 mg/dl to then (after following his own complex carbs diet for almost 30 years) ~ 94 mg/dl last reading three months before his death. One witness proclaimed "He was a very sick man. A very thin man".

Of course at this stage, I am likely be told "you have no idea what you're on about".

Indeed, I never ever proclaim "academia" superiority of any Nutritional "advice". Please consider reading the full indemnity disclosure.

Granted, I know nothing about endurance running. Likewise, as in the unfortunate case of James Fixx ~ I don't know what was it like being "transformed". From being obese to skinny and lean. Yet in the most unexpected of times ~ sudden death awaits.

So, here is the "How" - for what's it worth. hint: nothing may yet be "forever". 

Consider the long and ably survived halos of all respect ~ the longevity of centenarians. No doubt they lived a life worth telling. Absolutely no doubt they remain admirably as figures of survival.

Yet we've seen accounts of them smoked,  drinked, eggs and bacons, throughout their prior life.

Yes, we all want to age "gracefully".  This is likely once again ~ a matter of remanifesting competing perspective(/s)  into just one (1) pragmatic and private - introspective. The best that any "advice" in as so far goes ~ may yet lie in the frequency, and quantity of such an inspiration instilled.

However, the realistic answer will likely not be quaint. Because "everything-in-moderation" remains far too simplistically comforting.

I'd certainly consider myself cycling back the heavy MUFAs. Also bringing back copious amounts of pysllium husk. Is this forever? I'd wager not. If multitudes of studies do proclaim Low carbohydrates' superiority for insulin resistance management; by avoiding carbohydrates ~ does this mean one is "cured" by staying carbohydrate free?

I tend not to think so. I cannot speak on behalf or over someone else's.

Yet Cyclical Keto + Intermittent Fasting so far remains stubbornly ~ the only catalyst ascertaining between what is holy and what is evil. Amidst decentralised Nutritional Science. Because it at least respects inherent chaos in all of nature that nothing is forever. After all,the devil is in the details, the process. Yet the holy-ness is only an outcome.

3/4

Lastly, what happens if things go wrong?
Reconciling the "Why" - through Self-Atonements.

Every virtue spares a vice and versa. This last contemplation is what I admit openly as my own flaw. For being imperfectly human, for the lack of better word*.

(*or from frustration of losing hours of editing on these passages from computer crash). 

What that is ~ revolves around the questioning of "Why".

Enter Self-Atonements.

Reconciling the "why" may yet be a matter of "Self-Atonement". I may only describe proximally as this ~ willingness for self-guilt. As counter optimist as it sounds ~ putting ourselves in more guilty struggles, may yet be the best lesson, after all. Through time, every predicaments then turned into a lesson worth enquiring.

The only seemingly objective "marker", "factor", or "currency" constituting this self-guilt, is not just the entirety of the Abilities Ecosystem. Glycogen, ketones, etc. And also beyond willpower, affirmations or admissions.

It may yet be simply"time" itself. For the time being.

The above photo is a blood test after 16 hours on a Saturday ~ two days after the apprehensively high glucose reading result from the 29th blood test draw. And a day after a short carbohydrate feeding (4 hours) to refill some glycogen on Friday night.

"Give it time. Give your-self time. Revise, reflect and repeat" that is all I can say.

I did not actually read the i-screen® results, right off upon that email notification on late Friday. I simply left it as is in the background. I did not wish it to cloud over or jeopardise my integrity (or sanity). Especially that CKD+IF, 18:6, 20:4 ~ was what kept me alive for the past five long years. So on realisation (Saturday) where it is supposed to be a full carbohydrate refeed day joy ~ I tried recollecting myself upon seeing the results. Delayed my refeed day to yet another 18:6 IF. Poured in usual two cups of black coffees. Then began writing this passage.

But what happens then, despite undergoing "interventions" nothing seems to be "working" in one's favour?

Then, we must remind ourselves quickly ~ that  there is no "quick" panacea.

I'd so something else more productively, and conducively. Than submitting to more paranoia. This may be likely nothing to do with "nutrition". We all die involuntarily, high or low cholesterol. So at least, there's some time left. Be productive, so to make everything else worth "our while".

As sadly dismissive as that may sound, this remains a complex entanglement. If anyone else know of a better way to navigate around this very crisis of science ~ I'd love to hear it in the comments below.

Only provided of course ~ if there's an audience in the first place. 

4/4 Conclusion.

Entropy cannot be avoided. To say that we live or die by this "energy-carrier-molecule" called Cholesterol alone seems absurd, to say the least.

But here's one question to think about to pass the end of 2020.

To ask our (own) selves which is "worse". Slow death from saturated fats? Or quick death from COVID19*?

I remembered once walking to the shops on a quiet Sunday afternoon. Yet a speeding car near-skid me over the footpath carelessly. Maybe the driver had cholesterol issues. Leading to anger issues. I did not know. But I am confident to say that coercions, rather than cholesterol is far more abundantly dangerous to  influence an entire human being.

* For what it's worth, saturated fats is hypothesized as better protection from COVID19.  Ventilators may still not really be the saving grace. Perhaps it is worrisome that  they'll feed you soybean oil whilst in the ICU.

Suppose we ever contemplate something else other than "cholesterol" ~ to compare to for a "worser" death. What else is there? There's car accidents. Medicine malprescriptions. Drug side effects. To name a few.

What's bigger than all of those? Well, there's natural disaster. The 2004 Indonesian tsunami claimed 224,000 lives. That's just one (1) event.

Yet there is one more "collectivised force" ~ to be reckoned with. What's truly fascinating is that all this force is Man-made. 

Try  Communism.

100+ million body count. In just less than a century. Next year, the CCP will celebrate their 100-year ruling anniversary in style. By landing in Mars.

To me this reconciles the sombre camaraderie "Harmony at all costs". Death is debt. Fully "matured" in other words, paid in silent peace. Life, on the other hand is an on-going liability for someone else's deed. You shall not rest until you've fulfilled another's due.

But "why" I have chosen Communism specifically? Because it is still subtly imposed, today. Subliminally, more than anything ~ Institutionalised dietary guidelines, Epidemiology, Meta-Analysis, Averages upon averages. "Everything In Moderation." . 

....So what can one do? In the meantime?

Chart your own resilience.

Live-It-Forward,

AW.
nutritional-humility.me